


Now

by Joking611



Series: Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles [45]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Cari'ssi'mi, F/F, Fictober 2019, Post-Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 10:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20946626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joking611/pseuds/Joking611
Summary: Kaidan wishes to join the Normandy after the Cerberus coup.





	Now

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober 2019 prompt #3 - “Now? Now you listen to me?”

“Now? Now you listen to me? Not when you had a gun pointed at my face?”

“Shepard.” Kaidan’s tone was pleading.

“What? Why are you here?” Sarah tried to keep her tone from becoming too aggressive.

Kaidan swallowed. “I’m sorry. Really. I know I screwed up.”

Again Sarah fought to keep from raising her voice. “You did screw up Kaidan, and not for the first time.”

The second human spectre hung his head. “I know I did, Shepard.” He looked up to meet her eyes. “But I want to make this right. I do.” He glanced at the airlock behind him. “I want to prove to you what kind of person I _really_ am. I won’t let you down again.”

Sarah just shook her head sadly. “Not this time, Kaidan.”

“But you said I would always be welcome aboard the Normandy. That I was a strong part of the team.” He wasn’t _quite_ begging.

“And I meant it, Kaidan. Any other time and I’d give you another chance, let you have another opportunity to work your way back into my good graces.”

“So what’s different?”

“Kaidan,” Sarah sighed. “There’s a war going on.”

“Yeah,” anger starting to color his tone. “I got that. That’s why I want a way into the fight. Let me do some good and get away from politics and traitors.”

“There’s a war on, and I don’t want anyone I care about getting killed.”

“Thanks Shepard, but you don’t have to-”

“I don’t mean you, Kaidan!” She cut off his appreciation before pausing to regroup. “What I mean is, I don’t want Liara getting killed. Or Garrus. Or James. Javik might be OK,” she considered after a moment.

“I don’t understand.”

“Kaidan. Major. Even if I trust you enough to give you another chance, Garrus was with me on Horizon. Liara and James were on Mars. They saw you question me. My orders. My motives. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be alive? You had a gun pointed in my face and Liara and Garrus were _right there_. If we’re in the field, and things go sideways, is Garrus going to be watching Reapers? Is Liara? Or are they going to be watching _you_?”

Kaidan paled. “Commander, I didn’t think-”

“You’re goddamn right you didn’t. I know you thought you were doing the right thing, and if it were just me, I’d take the chance. But I won’t risk Liara’s life. I can’t.”

Kaidan nodded. “I understand, Commander.”

“No Major, you don’t. But until you do, I think it’s best that you join Hackett’s team at the Crucible.”

“Acknowledged, Commander.”

“Dismissed.” She passed him without another word.


End file.
